Green Cheese

Pasadena, California

At a recent conference at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, located in Pasadena, California, a NASA astrophysicist. Dr. Jacob Greenbaum stunned his audience when he disclosed that Earth’s moon is, in fact, made of green cheese, not rocks and moon dust. He sheepishly admitted that the speculation that had been rampant for many years, that the moon landing was actually staged in a hanger in Lancaster, California, was true. He explained that astrophysicists had speculated for some time that the moon was a cheese-like substance. The NASA team that was assembled in 1969 decided that attempting to land on cheese would be dangerous and might, in fact, result in the lunar landing craft becoming stuck and unable to return to Earth.

A former astronaut, retired Air Force Col. Jack Wheeler, demanded to be heard and, when he was given a microphone, claimed that he had, in fact, landed on the moon; that it was not cheese; that it was rock and thick deep dust. He even produced photographs of him walking on what appeared not to be cheese. Dr. Greenbaum scoffed at the photos and claimed that he could clearly see the outline of the aircraft hanger in the background, although none of the other conferees seemed willing to corroborate his claim. Greenbaum, raising his voice, seemed to mock Col. Wheeler. When Wheeler offered to produce a small piece of rock that he claimed to have brought from the moon, Greenbaum sneered that Wheeler was simply digging a deeper hole for his fairy tale. The moon was cheese and that was all there was to that, said Greenbaum. The audience cheered Greenbaum, and the conference was dismissed.[1]

Washington, D.C.

On July 12, 2022, one Khiara Bridges appeared as a witness to testify in a hearing convened by the Judiciary Committee of the Senate following the Supreme Court’s decision in Dobbs vs. Jackson which overturned Roe vs.Wade. Bridges is a professor of law at the University of California at Berkley School of Law. Bridges claimed that abortion bans could harm “people with a capacity for pregnancy.” Sen. Josh Hawley asked Bridges whether she meant “women.” Bridges replied that trans men and non-binary people” were also capable of pregnancy. Bridges refused to answer the specific question, instead repeatedly attacking Hawley as transphobic, apparently simply because he asked the question. When Hawley pressed the issue, Bridges repeated her attack that he was transphobic.

The Western world has allowed itself to embrace fictional constructs concerning sex, gender, and sexual orientation. The Left has foisted absurd fictions that people can simply choose their genders, that men can menstruate and become pregnant. Along the way, in service of these perversions, it has been necessary to change the meaning of words as well. Now children are urged to “choose your own pronouns” as if, by choice, one might foist off on the unsuspecting world some bizarre fiction of gender or orientation. As if it were not enough that the female individual has chosen to identify as a male, or that a man, by personal choice, decides to identify as a female and compete in sports against biological females, the rest of the normal world is required now to honor and approve the perversion and all of its baggage, including the unfair advantages it may provide.

According to Prof. Bridges, simply because she says so, trans men can become pregnant, might wish an abortion, and are, therefore, affected by the decision in Dobbs. So, you see, the moon really is made of green cheese because Dr. Greenbaum said so!

NOTE: If you have found this post interesting or helpful, please refer Ratcatcher.net to your friends. Ratcatcher invites you to leave a Comment or send an email to catcher@ratcatcher.net. Ratcatcher will respond to all civil emails.

[1] This is clearly fiction and is intended as satire to underscore the idiocy of what follows – an accurate account of a hearing in the United States Senate on July 12, 2022.